When I was a young boy I had a hard time to socialize with people and especially to talk about my ideas, my thing was to be part of a group. So I would go to the school to train but I didn’t see any meaning on that tecnique. I never learned what they thought and everything looked very difficult.
It seemed that the only goal of everyone of my colleagues was to beat me, so they could later look at me from above and say ( I beat a Gracie)
To me , since little, training was never a personal matter and I don´t even know why I insisted on going on to the school to train, it looked like everybody thought different then me… but , I was always ended up on the mat (J)
Even though back then I didn´t understand the essence of jiu-jitsu, I felt that there was a big barrier inside me that blocked me to understand jiu-jitsu: I didn’t care enough to try to learn…
But I blamed myself for not knowing jiu-jitsu, this was really frustrating.
When I became 13 years old a new fase started in my life, my survival became also part of my concerns.
I started to value different things, the basic needs became very important and fundamental to me.
The situations I lived made me understand better the diference between reality and ilusion. I was forced to learn to distinguish between real and fake.
I tripped, I stumbled but I learned to stand up and walk forward, many times without looking back... I always counted on myself for everything. I found out that these falls and tumbles were because of the angle that I was watching.
Some years later after becoming a Black from my uncle´s hand Máster Carson Gracie, I decided to go to São Paulo to teach.
Well , on the mat , I started to search the answer to my doubts on others, and I found out that almost nobody new about what they were talking about. So , I started to observe myself without judgement , I begin to realize my on way of being, of fighting, my base, my balance, and I started to test which moves worked for me.
I never liked to use strenght but I discovered that there are moments where strenght plus tecnic is essencial to achieve a goal. I also found out that balance is the base and that a bad situation wont last forever nor a good either, but this great balance on the training is fantastic so fighting doesn’t become boring and monotonous. Besides that the dynamic of it makes us stronger, aware, awake, fast thinkers and helps us on our evolution.
Each year that goes by I realize newer things . The mat and my students are my teachers. The lessons I learn everyday keeps me motivated and make me each day believe more in myself and on jiu-jitsu.
These lessons I bring to my life, to my routine. It is what I try to show to my students and to my beloved kids.